Actor, writer, and poet Piyush Mishra recently shared about his turbulent childhood, his strained relationship with his parents, and how those experiences shaped the kind of father he chose to become.
In a conversation with Shubhankar Mishra, Piyush Mishra described his early years as difficult and emotionally lacking.
“The impact my childhood had on me was something I needed to let go of. I couldn’t carry it forward — only after freeing myself from it could I move ahead in life,” he said.
“I never had a good childhood. It was confusing and filled with a sense of inferiority. I couldn’t get what I was seeking from my parents,” he added.
He went on to say that he did not receive the kind of guidance he needed. “My parents’ general understanding was limited, so I couldn’t get the guidance I was supposed to receive from them.”
He added, “People often see their fathers as guiding forces, almost god-like figures. I never had that. In fact, I experienced the opposite. I spent much of my life unlearning those patterns.”
Mishra admitted that he would often go against his parents deliberately. “I would intentionally do what they didn’t like. I even told my father that he was wrong — that he didn’t know how to raise a child and had raised his child in the wrong way.”
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Unlearning inherited values
Mishra also spoke about the “distorted” values he believes he inherited growing up. “The values I was raised with had flaws — things like deceit, constant compromise, avoiding conflict, and living cautiously just to get by,” he said.
Breaking free from those deeply ingrained patterns was a long and exhausting journey.
“It took me decades to fight those influences. There is some peace now that I’ve been able to distance myself from them. As I slowly shed those values, I began to realise that the life I was living wasn’t truly mine.”
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‘I never raised my hand on my children’
If his childhood was marked by confusion and lack of support, Mishra says his approach to parenting has been the exact opposite.
“I believe I am a very good father. I have never even raised my hand on my children,” he said.
Instead, he chose to give his children the freedom he never had. “I’ve always allowed them to do what they want, because I never got the chance to pursue what I wanted in life.”
He also shared a parenting philosophy often expressed by his wife: “For the first five years, treat your child like a prince. From five to fifteen, treat them like a servant. After fifteen, let them go — by then, the values you’ve instilled will guide them.”
According to Mishra, his children have grown up with that sense of independence. “Both of them are doing what they want. We never imposed anything on them.”
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‘I didn’t pay much attention to my family’
Mishra also acknowledged that he wasn’t always fully present as a parent.
“My wife is actually the one who raised them,” he said. “I was careless and often caught up in my own struggles. I didn’t pay much attention to my family. My wife was very aware and took great care of them.”
Today, however, he says his relationship with his children is strong and close.
“They consider me a good father now. We’ve always been close, and we were very attentive — especially my wife,” he said.
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Piyush Mishra married architect Priya Narayanan in 1995 in Delhi. The couple are parents to two sons, Josh and Jai.
This article reflects on personal experiences of childhood trauma, strained family dynamics, and the emotional journey of parenting. These reflections are shared for narrative purposes and should not be taken as professional psychological or parenting advice.
